Communication and Conflict (Colossians 3:12–4:1) - Part 2

Scripture Reading

You may be seated. Will you turn over in your Bibles with me to the book of Colossians, Colossians chapter three, as we continue our one-off sermon on communication and conflict. Colossians chapter three, and last week we got just about to verse 14. Colossians chapter three, and we'll begin the reading at verse 12, and we'll read down to chapter four, verse one. So Colossians chapter three, if you're using your Pew Bibles, that's on page 1,047. Hear now God's word.

Therefore, as the elect of God, Holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering, bear with one another, and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts to which you also were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in Psalms. and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, Obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye service, as men pleasers, but in sincerity of heart. fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, Give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a master in heaven.

The grass withers and the flower fades, but brothers and sisters, the word of our God endures forever. And as we look at it this morning, it will instruct us in righteousness. It'll push us. It will make us uncomfortable. It might even cut in some places that we don't like. Conflict and communication. This is not an easy topic to live out.

But as we looked last time, we talked about how we must first seek Christ. We need to abide in Christ. Chapter 3 started with, if then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is sitting at the right hand. Seek Christ, seek the things above, know your identity in Jesus Christ. And as we moved on, we were told to put off that old man. and to put on the new man, to put to death those deeds of the flesh and to live by Christ instead. And so as we look at this second part, I'm going to encourage you once again, put on Christ.

And after that, we're going to talk about how we should let the word of Christ dwell in us richly. After that, do everything for God, cultivate a heart of thankfulness, live within God's structure. And then after that, we'll have some practical questions and applications from the scriptures that we should apply in our lives towards conflict and communication. So first put on Christ, verse 14 and 15.

But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body. Did you hear it? Above all these things, put on love. Put on love. Love, that bond that ties us together, that self-sacrificial love.

I am indebted to, again, my pastor Micah. I heard him preach for nine years, and again and again and again, he would say, love isn't this mushy feeling. The world has all sorts of ways to define love, but biblical love is caring for another person's eternal well-being. What is it that I need to feel, think, and do for this person that's for their eternal good? Love. Love is that bond of peace. But above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection, and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you were called in one body, and be thankful.

Let the peace of God, that reality that God is no longer at enmity with you and you no longer have to be at enmity with others around you. You no longer have to be at loggerheads with people around you. Why? Because God's no longer at loggerheads with you.

God has been gracious to you. God has been merciful to your Jew. God has been forgiving of you. Now turn around and show that grace and that mercy and forgiveness to others. You can have that same mind which was in Christ Jesus. You can have the peace of Christ and notice what it says. Look at verse 15, look at it closely.

It's not like this is something that is just added on to our hearts or added into our lives, but this is the rule of our lives. It's love, it's peace, it's patience that has got hold of the steering wheel of our hearts. It is this peace of God that as we focus on Christ, as we remember Christ, as we look to Christ, as we say daily, Father, forgive me of my debts as I forgive those, or I forgive my debtors. Forgive me of my trespasses, I forgive those who have trespassed against me, as that is our daily prayer, it becomes more and more an outward reality in our lives. That should be what's steering our lives, it should be the rule of our lives, is that love, that peace of Christ. And as that's the case, notice what verse 15 says about that.

As that becomes the rule of our lives, to which also you were called in one body. English is this weird language. We don't use the second person plural very much unless you're in Pittsburgh where they say Jens or if you're in the south and they say y'all. And that's really how this should be translated, to which also y'all were called into one body. Y'all different members, y'all different people, you as individuals out there, you are no longer by yourself alone, but you are one collective body. You are the body of Christ. You are the church. The church is not the building, the church is you. The church is me. The church is living stones built upon the cornerstone Jesus Christ and the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. We're one body. And so if we want to be marked by that one body, what does that mark look like? What's the defining attribute or the defining characteristic of the one body which is supposed to be the church? Love and the peace of Christ. If you wanna look at any church and think, is this a true church? We often think, you know, is there doctrinal purity? Are they preaching the word? Are they doing things right? Brothers and sisters, you can be as intellectually orthodox as you want, but if you have not love, and if the peace of Christ isn't reigning in the congregation, if they're just nitpicking and fighting, that's not what the church is supposed to be.

I mean, think about it, this is using the metaphor of the body here. If your tooth hurts, is your body well? I'm talking about like a serious toothache. If you ever know, right? It's painful and you're like, I gotta get something right with this tooth. I gotta go see a doctor. I need to see a dentist. I gotta make this right.

I gotta have peace in my body because if one thing's out of joint, I mean, we might think about our church as like, oh, there's more important people and less important people. Some people think about people in the church like that. If you thought about your body like that and just didn't think your pinky toe was very important, go walk around the dark for a while and figure out how important one tiny member of the body is. And we need to care for even the weakest parts of the body and let that bond of peace be cared for within us.

Verse 15 has another takeaway though. This whole putting on Christ is so full here, but we're just gonna fly like 2,000 feet elevation or 20,000 foot high, right? I don't have time to dwell on too much of this. We got a long way to go and not much time to get there. So I'm gonna start moving fast, okay?

Cultivate a heart of thankfulness. And y'all be thankful. Be thankful. Thank the Lord for the good things in your life. If you find yourself as someone who's worrying or somebody who's nitpicking or somebody who just has a hard time getting along with other people, start, I'm not joking here, literally go get a three ring notebook or a ruled notebook. If you don't have one, stop by the house sometime and I'll give you one for free and start a thankfulness journal. And every day before you go to bed, write down 10 things that you are thankful to the Lord for. Write down 10 things. If you can't think of 10 things, don't go to sleep yet. And I'm not saying this in a legalistic way, I'm saying we just take for granted all these good things that the Lord gives us.

When's the last time you've thanked God for your shoelaces? Or when's the last time you thanked God that you're old enough that somebody made shoes that don't have shoelaces? When's the last time you've thanked God that you can see colors? When's the last time that you've thanked God that you can turn on your tap and water just comes out and you didn't have to think about it? When's the last time you turned on a light switch and lights came on and you said, thank you, Lord, for electricity? I'm sure a few of us just went all through the winter and we never thought about we didn't have to stay outside in negative 20 degree weather while the wind was blowing. The Lord gave us working furnaces and walls.

It's not until things and luxuries are taken away from us that we become thankful of them, but the Lord's telling us here, y'all be thankful. Be thankful for God's grace to you. Be thankful for God's mercy to you. Be thankful for his forgiveness towards you. Be thankful, here we go. Catch it here. Be thankful for one another. So people on this side of the church have to be thankful for people on the other side of the church. Maybe you need to be thankful for the spouse who's sitting a lot closer next to you.

Cultivate this heart of thankfulness. Do we want to get rid of communication problems and conflict problems? A huge part of it is when we just aren't thankful for the other person. This will do wonders in your marriage if you just thank your spouse. Thanks for taking out the trash, love. Hey, I know you had a long day at work. Thank you for making dinner. Thank you. Thank you. Be thankful.

But next, let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. When we get to verse 16, we start seeing this interesting thing that happens. He's moving towards the church corporately and now he's telling us in verse 16, let the word of Christ dwell in you all richly and all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

This is why husbands are told to wash their wives in the water of the word. We need the word. We need to hear the words of Christ. We need to live the promises of Christ. We need to be reminded of them. We need to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly.

But maybe you thought as we were going through yesterday, or last week's sermon, you thought, okay, gentleness and kindness and patience and tenderheartedness. So we just like ignore all the problems? No. No, you don't need to ignore all of the problems. Look again what verse 15 said, or 16 said. There are things in which God's word specifically says, hey, you gotta be careful about this. You need to stop this. There are times in which we need to do that.

But let me just tell you, have you ever seen the movie Inside Out? It's this little animated movie by Pixar. If you haven't seen this movie, I would encourage you to go watch Inside Out by Pixar. It's this great little movie about this girl with different emotions.

And she's struggling with different emotions as she's moving from Minneapolis to San Francisco. That should be an opposite move in my brain. But anyways, as they're, As she's wrestling with this, joy has always been her primary emotion that's been ruling everything. But she's got this one little emotion. He's about yay tall, like this, and he's all red. And when he shows it, fire comes out of his head. He's anger. Sometimes our first emotion to things is just angry right away.

We see a sin in someone, and we're going to let them have it. You know, I see my spouse doing something wrong and I'm gonna admonish them. I'm going to tell them that the Lord doesn't like this and you better listen up. Man, I'm glad Jesus doesn't treat me that way.

Sometimes we can be so that way in how we admonish each other that we throw out the first part of do all things with love and wisdom. How we say something to someone can be just as important as what we say to them. I'll repeat that, might be something you wanna write down. How I say something can be almost as important as what I say to someone. We need to have wisdom, the right place and the right way to address someone about a real issue.

This is one reason why I tread on water when I do topical sermons, because the quickest way for a pastor to rip apart the church and sow controversy is to do topical sermons. because they get on their soapbox and talk about whatever they want to talk about instead of letting the word of God be their guide for when to talk about different topics and to bring it up as the scriptures say it.

We should be admonishing each other. That's a big fancy $10 Christian word, admonishing. Warning, telling someone, hey, don't go that way. You're headed down a wrong path. The word of God does do that to us. And it should happen in the scriptures. It should happen as you hear the preaching of the word. If it's nothing but flour and candy and fluff, it's probably not the full word of God. There are things in the scripture that I promise you are difficult for pastors to say. And a lot of pastors will just make it easier to swallow.

But it's with wisdom. In the right time, in the right place, with the right tone, with the right purpose and motivation that peace and love might reign, that we should admonish each other. Husbands, wives, children, let me encourage you, this is a beautiful thing as you do family devotions in your own home.

If you just commit yourself, we're just going to read a small chunk of scripture each day, you'd be surprised how quickly the word of God will admonish someone and you don't have to say a word. Just read it. Just read it. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. But it's not just reading it, it's not just preaching it, it's not just seeing it, but it's also singing it.

Verse 16, admonishing each other, one another, in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Now, if you wanna get nerdy, talk to me about chiastic structures and talk to me about the Greek grammatical structure here of what's called a hendiatry, and we'll get all nerdy and I'll pull out my Greek for you. But this is essentially, if you go to the Psalms, and like the Psalm we sang today was a song of David, an ode of David. That's one of these types of songs it's talking about here. All of those different types Hymnos, psalmnos, and odes are all spiritual songs, songs inspired by the Spirit, and we find them in the Psalters. But I don't want to focus so much on that, but the aspect of singing the Psalms. What do you think about when you sing the Psalms? What do you think about? Did you realize when you sing the Psalms, you're admonishing one another? You're encouraging one another, stop being worried, God is going to care for you.

When you sing the Psalms, there's actually some congregations in which the pews aren't like this, but they actually face more towards each other. So that way when the Psalm is being sung, this pew side is singing to that side of the church, and this side is singing to that side of the church.

And you're reminding each other of the promises and the hope of God as you go through the Psalter. We admonish each other, we encourage one another. With the wisdom of God and with this inspired word, with grace in our hearts, notice that. That's not just for me, that's what verse 16 says. Singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. You're admonishing each other, but you're also taking this up to the Lord. This is a full orb, the body and the Lord, singing it to the Lord, but admonishing each other. We're going to God's word and we're singing it. and we're building each other up by it. So let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. This can't be a three-part sermon. I'm gonna hurry up here. Next, do everything for God. Look with me at verse 17.

And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and God the Father through him. You labor, you do all things in your life under the merciful gaze of your true master, Jesus Christ. So whether you are out raking the leaves, whether you are out working in the field, whether you are out working in the factory, whether you are teaching in school, whether you're doing your schoolwork, whether you are visiting the sick, whatever you are doing, you do it under the oversight and for the Lord. And just to make sure you caught it again, with thankfulness. Giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Have you thanked the Lord that you can? Children, have you thanked the Lord that you can go to school? Teachers, have you thanked the Lord that you at least have students to teach? Farmers, have you thanked the Lord that at least you have a field to work in? Do we thank the Lord? Do we thank the Lord? Do we thank the Lord?

Do we see that all the work which we have to do is done for His glory? Do everything for the Lord. Elsewhere in scriptures it says, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it unto the Lord. Do it all for the glory of God. When you eat, eat with thankfulness. When you drink, drink with joy. When you work, do it as unto the Lord. Do it unto the Lord. Cultivate a heart of thankfulness.

This last part, though, when we talk about conflict and communication, and we look at this next section, you might think it's somewhat disjointed, but it's right there. Paul follows right on. The Holy Spirit wanted to make sure and clear to us that this is part of what it means to live in harmony with each other. What it means to put off the old man and put on the new man also looks like God redeeming the family.

And while it was tempting for me to just end it at verse 17, we're just going to quickly run through this, verses 18 through chapter four, verse one. We need to live within God's structure. When we want to do whatever we want to do in marriage or in the family, the outcome will always be conflict. When we want to be the masters of our own family and treat our relationships however we want to treat them, the outcome will always be conflict.

This is what the blessing that the Lord is telling us here. Here is a way to live. Here is the way in which God has designed the family where we're going back to the structure that we would have found in Eden. And this is the blessing that you get to live by grace in your life, not legalistically before his glory.

First Point

So first, first, wives. Wives, and I'm just gonna read my translation here. It's gonna be close to the New King James. Wives, be subordinate to your husband. as is fitting in the Lord. We talked about this not too long ago when we went through the book of Ephesians, but if both people are trying to wear the pants in the relationship, have you ever tried to see two people get in the same pair of pants? Guess what's going to happen? They're either going to rip or the people are going to fall. The reality is that somebody has to be the submissive person in God's structure and not in a way of authoritarianism, which we'll see in the next verse. But why is it as your blessing now to submit to your husbands? Are they going to be imperfect? Are they gonna be foolish? Are they going to sin sometimes? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Some of you might even be married to non-Christian husbands. God says by your submissiveness, by your godly living, you might even be able to win over your non-Christian husbands.

There's a reality that this is the structure in which God made us. This is how the family works well. And this is a direct result of Genesis chapter three. And when God pronounced the curses in Genesis chapter three, one of the curses that came from that is that the woman would want to rule over her husband and the husband would want to be a tyrant over his wife. I mean, we're going against the very fabric of what's been in us for thousands of years when I say this. So if you think this is going to be easy, don't be fooled.

God isn't talking to idealists here. He's saying real nitty gritty. Wives, be submissive to your husbands. You wanna get rid of some conflict? Try being submissive, see how it works. But husbands, husbands love your wives and do not be bitter towards them. Loving your wives, man, we're gonna have to go so fast over this. Husbands, you need to be like Jesus. That's what Ephesians chapter five's tell you. Husband, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Philippians chapter two shows us what that love looks like, that Jesus Christ did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself lower why that he might serve his bride, the church.

Husbands, you show your love and your leadership in your family by servant leadership, not by being a dictator in your home. Actually, that's exactly what that phrase, do not be bitter towards them. One writer said, this is talking about the dominant partner who can legally, by his own will, command his wife, but will not win her love and respect. thus becoming bitter about not getting what he wants out of her. Husbands, love your wives. Don't be bitter towards them. lead them with love, lead them with sacrificialness, lead them, and I was just reading a post on this reformed forum, right, reformed people love, you know, machoism and stuff like that, and they say, oh, this type of stuff, servant leadership emasculates men. No, if you think it emasculates men, then you're saying that the preeminent image, Jesus Christ himself, falls short of your standard.

Jesus Christ didn't come to be served, but to serve. When Jesus Christ was told by God in John chapter 13 that all authority had been given to him, what does Jesus turn around and do? He washes his disciples' feet. He tells his disciples, love shows nothing greater than this, that someone might lay down his life for his friend. And Jesus didn't just talk the talk, but he walked the walk, then he gave up his life for his friends. He gave up his life for the bride, the church. Husbands, will you lead your wives with sacrificial love?

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Children, this is the first commandment with a promise that God is telling you. If you follow your parents, if you hear your parents and will heed their voice and walk after their godly ways, The promise is that it will go well with your life. There is a promise with this. Do you see that if we look unto Jesus Christ and we see that he purposely followed and perfectly followed his father, he's inviting you children into walking before him, to obeying your parents, that it might go well with you. Children, obey your parents.

Why? Because it's pleasing to the Lord. Yeah, your parents might like it, but more important than that, your father in heaven likes it. Fathers, do not provoke your children or your sons in order that you do not discourage them. Man, this one cut deep.

How easy is it for dads to be too harsh with their kids, to demand and not be gracious? to lead them in love and not provoke them to wrath? How easy is it to become impatient? How easy is it to become not gentle? How easy is it to not treat them with a tender heart but with calloused hearts? How easy is it to provoke our children to discourage their hearts? Sacrificial, loving, leading, gentle, forgiving, Doesn't mean you don't have a spine. It means you know about mercy, and you know about grace.

One of the most amazing testimonies I've ever heard was from a adult Christian woman. She's in her 60s now, and she said, if I ever needed to know what God the Father was like, I could look to my dad. That was the most shocking statement I had ever heard, and I thought, why do you say that? She said, he was so patient with us.

Fathers, do not provoke your sons in order that you do not discourage them. Servants, obey in all. Obey all things. to your masters according to the flesh, not with eye services, men pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God and whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of inheritance for your service, for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done and there is no partiality. If you're an employee, If you're under contract to work for someone else, just like he told us before, do it unto the Lord.

Not as man-pleasers, not just for eye service. Don't just kick up your feet and waste the time, be on Facebook all day, and then the second you know that your boss is gonna walk in the room, pull down your feet and start getting back to work. No, work is unto the Lord.

Have you ever thought about that before? That as you do your quote-unquote mundane work, as you just work in the field, as you work in the office, as you just do your normal work, earning your daily bread, that you're laying up treasures in heaven? That's what it says here. Knowing that from the Lord, you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Don't, yeah, you got a boss. Your boss might be a real something. Don't work for him, work for the Lord. Work for the Lord, it's gonna be hard. Work for the Lord and you'll receive from the Lord your just reward.

But also masters, if you're in the position where you are employing people, where you are contracting people, where people are obligated to serve you, masters, do what is right and fair to your servants. Pay them a living wage. Care for them as people. Care about their families. Don't change their wages all over the place. If you say you're going to give them this amount of money to do a certain amount of job, pay them and pay them on time. All right, give them their just rewards.

I'll never forget a restaurant chain that went out of business. They went bankrupt and they kept some of their stores and I would never go to this restaurant chain because I found out when they closed their stores in Virginia Beach, they had all these employees, all these waitresses and bus boys and cooks and stuff that they didn't pay their last two weeks of wages. They purposely kept the business running and then shut down the business, filed for bankruptcy and didn't pay their employees. That's not a business that deserves to be in business.

Masters, do what's right and fair, for you all have a Lord in heaven. You see, all of this is done under the umbrella of God being our master. This is a long sermon, I'm sorry. I know we have a lot to cover. But this is how the Lord is telling you, here are practical ways in your life that you work this out.

You wanna have reduced conflict? Be thankful, be gracious, be loving. Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter towards them. Children, obey your parents and the Lord. Servants, serve as unto the Lord. Masters, be fair.

There's so much more we can go to, but I want to quickly run with you to a few questions, because conflict is going to happen. And when it arises, I want you to walk out of here with some questions and some practical steps to do. So question number one, when conflicts arises, I want you to ask the question, is this a sin or is this just a preference? Am I having conflict with a person because there's sin? Or is this just because I don't like something? If it's a preference, hold it with a loose hand. If it's sin, pray for wisdom that you might know how to admonish and encourage that Christian. Question number two.

If this isn't a sin, or if I know that this person is struggling to put to death this sin, can I cover it over in love? Can I cover it over in love? Does this disagreement raise to the level that I have to constantly think about it, or can I just say, Lord, you take care of it? Can I cover it over?

Question number three, ask yourself, is this a habitual sin that this person is engaged in? Is my spouse engaged in this habitual sin? Do they do it and do it and do it and do it? It's not like it happened one and done, okay? I asked them to do this, they didn't do it, it was a sin, oh well. Or is it just continually happening?

All right, if it's continually happening and if it's a sin in their life, you need to pray for wisdom for how you confront this person. But before you confront that person, question number four, you have to ask yourself, have I examined my own life? This is what Jesus says.

If you're going to go and confront your brother about the speck in his eye, you need to take the plank out of your own eye first. If you're going to confront your wife about not folding the laundry the way you want her to, and yet you spend all your day looking at pornography, there's something wrong. You got your own heart issues to deal with first. Have I looked for the plank in my own eye first?

Number five, have I prayed for this person? Have I prayed for this person? Before you go and confront them, have you prayed for them? Have you thanked the Lord for them? You'd be surprised what that does for your communication and for conflict if you stop and you pray for that person and you thank the Lord for them.

Number six, if I'm gonna confront them, right, we're not like shock troopers, we don't just get to go in, shoot people up, and then get out of there. If we're gonna be true Christians and we're going to actually confront people about their sins, that means it's gonna get dirty and we have to walk with them in their road for repentance.

It means we have to bear one another's burdens. So question six, am I willing to bear this person's burdens? That's what Galatians chapter six verses one and two tells us to do, to bear with one another's burdens. If this is so serious that I'm going to confront this person about a sin in their life, am I willing to walk the long, hard, messy road towards repentance with them? Am I willing to bear with this person? Am I willing to bear their burdens?

So if you've done all that, you need to commit yourself, commit your heart to Christ. You cannot jump to these conflict things, all these questions. We cannot jump down to three steps of biblical confrontation without first remembering, reminding our hearts to put on Christ, to put on love, put on grace, put on tender mercies, put on patience. If we can't do that, then our heart's in the wrong place and you are going to cause friction in that confrontation. If you don't put on Christ before you admonish, then you're not doing it in wisdom.

You're just doing it in your own little, red, angry, fiery-headed man. I'm gonna confront you about this. Okay, so you've done all that. Three quick steps for biblical confrontation. You can find this in Matthew chapter 18 verses 15 through 17. We're not gonna go there, but I'm literally just giving you tools to put in your toolbox. Three biblical steps out of the words of Jesus's mouth for biblical confrontation.

Number one, somebody is sinning. You've gone through all these questions about yourself. The first thing you should do is not come talk to me about it, unless it's my sin. By all means, come and talk to me about my sin. Go talk to that person one-on-one. Go talk to that person one-on-one. The most divisive thing you can do to hurt the unity and peace of the church is to go start telling everybody else about that person's sin.

No, go and address that person about their sin. Go deal with them in gentleness and kindness and admonish them, warning them in the Lord. If that doesn't work, They still continue in their habitual sin. They still will not change their ways. They still will not repent.

Jesus says, then you take two or three witnesses with you. Now I need to make this clear to you. Jesus says two or three witnesses. That doesn't mean you go gossip with your friends who had no business in the situation and now they come into it and now you have three people just jumping down this person's throat. No, two or three other people who have seen this happen. who have known this habitual sin. This is not just an isolated thing within your own family that, you know, it's just you and your wife know about it. No, this is like, it's starting to filter out. Other people in the congregation, other people in the church, other people in the community know about it.

Then two or three get together and lovingly go and confront their brother or sister. So step number one, one-on-one. Step number two, two-to-three-on-one. Step number three, take it to the elders. Take it to the church. Step number three, come and talk to Jim. Come and talk to John. Come and talk to me then.

There's an escalation in severity here. And there's an escalation of people coming alongside this person and encouraging them and embalming them and trying to get them to see the error of sin and repent of this serious sin. So one-on-one. Still continues, go confront with another. Still continues, then bring it to the church. There's way more.

There's way more we can talk about communication. But brothers and sisters, the gospel is a lot more than just Jesus saved me from my sins. But the gospel is also about Jesus living in the congregation and his grace being showed through the congregation. So I pray that as we walk out of these doors today and as we continue to live out our lives this year, that we might be those who would confront and communicate with wisdom and with the love of Christ.

Closing Prayer

Let's pray. Oh, Father, there's been much said. Father, we pray that you would bury these words in our hearts. Get rid of the fluff. Holy Spirit, we pray that you would apply these things to our lives, that we might be people who might not just know grace, but live grace. Father, we pray that you would care for us, that you would let us do the good works that you have prepared beforehand, that we might do them. Let us not forget these words as we walk out these doors today. In Jesus' name, amen. Let's go ahead and turn in our psalters and sing in response.