The 5th Commandment

Scripture Reading

Will you turn in your Bibles with me to Exodus chapter 20. We continue our series on the Ten Commandments. And we come to a different section of the Ten Commandments today. The first four commandments are our obligations or our duties owed unto God. These next six commandments are obligations or blessings or duties that we owe to one another. Exodus chapter 20 beginning at verse 12.

Prayer for Illumination

Honor your father and your mother. that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Let's pray. Father, we thank you so much for your word. God, we pray that you would teach us today. Lord, we know that you are our Father. And so, Father, we sit at your feet this morning, wanting to hear from you. Please teach us, correct us, guide us, train us, that we might be ready for every task that you would have before us.

Sermon

In Jesus's name, amen. When I was a kid, one of the things that we used to say to one another when somebody would say you had to do something, what would a good American boy say? I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. I think it's baked into the American spirit, part of our culture, part of our beliefs, part of who we are, is I can do whatever I want, and no one can say otherwise.

I'm the authority, the buck stops here, And what we often teach our kids with that type of mantra is, there is no authority. Well, that ain't the truth. It's not the way the Lord designed the earth. Well, just between you and I this week was one of those weeks where the Lord said, you're gonna have to practice this before you preach it. And so the Lord's been teaching me that this week. And so as we look at this commandment, we're going to look at the command itself to begin with, the command itself to begin with honor. Your father and your mother. Kids, listen up to that. It's not just dad, it's also mom. Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

There's an absolute basic sense of this command. An absolute basic sense that all of us should be able to understand. All of us owe our parents honor and respect. It's a real short command. Each one of these we're going to see is a really short command. What Jesus does is he shows us the depth of many of these commandments and what we find is this is a very broad commandment.

I'm just going to put it out here right now. Shameless plug, we're not going to get into all the applications of this. Because it gets into the state, it gets into the family, it gets into the church, it gets into who honor is due and where, and so I'm just going to encourage you to come to Chalk and Talk. This is my shameless plug. In Chalk and Talk is when we're going to do the nitty-gritty application of this.

But the base of the commandment is honor your mother and your father. Children obey. Children obey, and especially at this time in the Old Testament, this time in an agrarian society, that looked like caring for your mom and dad when they get old. Caring for your parents as they age, honoring your parents as those who are worthy of respect and esteem.

See, there is an authority structure that God has established in the world. There is an authority structure that God himself made. Authority is a word Americans don't like. We like words like freedom and liberty. But God made an authority structure. And the home is a greenhouse of teaching our children obedience and authority and what it looks like to respect it. See, we have a sin in our own society. And I'm serious about this. This isn't me trying to beat up on people. I'm just trying to tell you there's a reality in our society that mom and dad just want to be cool.

Parents just want to be best friends with their kids. Parents just want to be liked by their children. Your kids need you to be an authority structure. Your kids need to respect you. I'm not saying they should fear you, and we're gonna get into that type of stuff. I'm not talking about being so heavy-handed that your kids are afraid to come around you or worried that they're gonna be smacked or belittled when you come around. But your kids shouldn't be your best friends, especially not when they're little littles.

As they get older and they get adults and they mature and things like that, you might develop a friendship, but even then, your children need to honor their parents. When we confuse love There's this confusion of love. If I love my kids, I want them to like me, but your children can love you and like you, and you can still be an authority to them. They're not mutually exclusive. I think we see this a lot in our society, and these are easy things to pick off, but go talk to any teacher, and find out how culture has moved with how parents think of their children versus how parents think of their teachers.

I remember seeing a little cartoon, and it said, you know, 1945, a student comes to his parents, and he's got an F on his test, and he goes home, and his parents scold him for getting an F. 2020, the kid has the same picture, but this time it's in the teacher's office, and the parents are yelling at the teacher, why did you flunk my kids?

It's a funny comic, but it's a sad cultural critique. And this has become something that's really bothersome to me. I challenge you to turn on any sitcom, any Disney movie, and see how they portray the parents. Time and time and time again, it's dad is a fool, mom doesn't know, doesn't, just kind of doesn't have enough worldly sense to know, and she just loves too much, and the children are the ones that have the wisdom. This is what our age has done, this is what the vain philosophy of our culture is doing, is taking the authority structure and turning it on its head. And when there is a TV show, there recently was a TV show that tried to make it where there was a strong dad figure, it got cancelled pretty fast, even though the ratings were good. Why? Because it goes against the philosophy of our age. The world does not want you to have strong fathers in the home. The world does not want you to have strong mothers in the home who are able to lead their children in love with authority. The world wants the family to dissolve, and if you think I'm crazy about this, This is a historical thing. I'm seriously offering this to you. As our country continues to walk down the road that leads to socialism, go read the Communist Manifesto by Marx himself and see what the desire for the family is.

It's that there is no family. It's that this authority structure is gone away with and instead the state becomes the authority. But I'm not gonna get too much down politics here. I just want you to see that it is God himself who has commanded this. There's no wiggle room around this. The base of the commandment is, Mom and Dad, you are in charge. Children, there's no wiggle room here. The command is really simple. You need to obey your parents. You need to honor Mom and Dad. You need to show them the respect that God has told you to show them. And this isn't a small thing. There's a seriousness of this command. One that, if we're honest with ourself, kind of makes us squirm in our seats a little bit when we hear what the law said about this. Exodus chapter 21, verse 17. Exodus chapter 21, I mean, if you're using the pew Bible, it's literally on the next page. Page 68 is the fifth commandment. Page 69, Exodus 21, 17.

And he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be reprimanded? No. Rebuked? No. What does it say? Shall surely be put to death. Man, I don't know about you, but that's like a hot piece of iron stuck through my heart. Leviticus chapter 20, verse nine. Leviticus chapter 20 verse nine, for whoever curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death for he has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him. This is two times now. But just to make sure the people got it right, a third time in the law in the book of Deuteronomy chapter 21. Deuteronomy chapter 21, verses 18 through 21.

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city to the gates of his city, and they shall say to the elders of the city, listen to this, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious.

He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall put away the evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear. This adult boy, the commandment is saying this adult boy, this grown-up, we're not allowed to have man-childs in Israel. The parents are at some point able to go, hey, we've chastened him, we've told him, dude, you need to move out and get a job. You need to stop this drinking. You need to stop just yourself indulging.

And the child says, the boy says, no, no, no, I don't care. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you say. I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do. The Lord says that's like a poison in the water of Israel. You gotta get it out. You gotta make a point of it. Again, I don't know about you, but this kind of makes me squirm in my seats, but it's one of the Ten Commandments. It's right there next to do not murder.

And yet in our culture, this is just so acceptable, is it not? And if we took our children, if we took our Western media, this is one of the reasons why the rest of the world hates American media. Well, some of it hates, some of it loves. But because of what it portrays and what it tries to say is acceptable to say and to do to your parents.

It's not just in the law. Proverbs chapter 20, verse 20. Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness. God, brother and sister, God takes this seriously. Kids, kids, listen up. This is not something that God plays around with. This is not something that we just get to slough off like, it's just mom and dad.

No. See, because Calvin in his writing on this commandment, he talks about how this is a picture for how God is and how all of our authority is. What is the preface to the Lord's Prayer? Our Father who is in heaven. See, because if God has given us this pattern that children are meant to be raised up, nourished up in the home, that they learn to honor and respect their mother and father, because as God shares that title with humanly fathers, they're meant to learn how to respect their earthly father. They might know how to reverence their heavenly father. So God takes this command seriously.

I don't know, maybe in your life, Have you always honored your father and your mother? In your life, have you always been found innocent of this foundational law of God, this principle found in nature? Have you ever thought wrongly of your parents? Have you ever just wished that they would stop calling or just... Some of you live with the grief that your parents are with the Lord now, and you wish you could go back and unsay some of the things that you said.

See, we're all guilty of this sin. We're all guilty of not paying honor to our father and our mother as we ought. And yet, it is Jesus Christ who did this perfectly. It is Jesus Christ who always did his parents will. I wonder what it was like for Jesus living in Joseph's house. Have you ever thought about that before? The God of the universe who created all things seen and unseen humbled himself into the likeness of a man and lived in a house and had a sinful dad. He had a mom with failings. How many times do you think Jesus thought That's not right. There's a better way to do that. And yet obeyed his mom. Obeyed his dad.

Now we don't know much about Joseph because most scholars, and I am included in, not a scholar, but I'm included in the mindset here that Joseph most likely died by the time we get to the majority of Jesus' ministry, but we see Jesus' respect for his mother. We see Jesus as he calls his mom, and our translations are fine here, but have you ever noticed like when Jesus does his first miracle in the wedding at Cana, what does she say?

All the wine is gone, everything is gone. Jesus, here's some water jars. How does he address her? The New King James says, woman. Most translations will say something like that, but the inscriptions in ancient times would lead us to a better translation of, kind of like in the South, ma'am, or dear woman. This is an affectionate term that Jesus uses for her when he calls her gune, when he calls her woman in this regard. When he responds to his mom, he calls her by this term of endearment, and it's one of the most striking examples.

It's when Jesus is on the cross. When Jesus is on the cross, when his hands are nailed to that piece of wood, as he's gasping for breath, as he's been ripped to shreds, as there's a crown of thorns upon his head, as he is struggling to breathe, as he is facing and drinking down the full cup of God's wrath, as he is struggling, as he is in pain, as he is taking upon the sins of all of his elect of the world, he sits there and he hangs upon that cross and he looks down in his humiliation And who does he see?

His mother. And even with his dying breath, fighting for every gasp of air, he looks at John, he says, behold your mother. Mother, behold your son. And from that day on, she dwelt in John's house. Even as Jesus was dying upon the cross, he has the act of obedience to his father that he cares for his mother. He honors his mother, he reveres his mother, he wants to make sure that Mary is cared for.

It's not just as human mother and father, Jesus tells us time and time again that he does the will of his father. John chapter 4 verse 34 when Jesus' disciples come to him after he's been talking with the woman at the well. They are talking about food and Jesus explained, Jesus found satisfaction for his soul and for his body and honoring his heavenly father and doing his father's will.

John 6, verse 38, for I have come down from heaven not to do my will, but to do the will of him who sent me, John chapter 5, verse 30. I can do nothing of myself. I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, because I do not seek my own will, but the will of him who sent me. Do you see, brothers and sisters, where we lack in our obedience to our mother and father? It is Jesus Christ who fulfilled all righteousness. We have no hope in and of ourselves to keep the fifth commandment because we fail it time and time and time again. But some of you might say, oh, is this commandment really still applicable? Does this commandment really still apply to me?

Jesus sure thought so. In Matthew chapter 15, this is one of the things that he directly calls out the Pharisees for. Matthew chapter 15 verses 4 and following. Jesus is there at the temple and they're arguing with Jesus and they're fighting with Jesus and Jesus points out their sin. He says that they know the commandment. They know they need to honor their father and their mother, but what do they do? They commit the sin of Corban. What they do is they, these are like pious people. I mean, Pharisees are really religious people.

And so they said, okay, well, here's this command on your father and your mother, but I don't really love my parents. My heart's just not there. And I really don't wanna give them my money in old age when they need to be cared for. So you know what I can do? The commandment is here. But what I'll do is I'll donate money to the temple. And then by donating money to the temple, my parents can't get that money, because see, it's donated to the temple. So I can make it look like I'm doing a good religious thing, but I don't actually have to keep the fifth commandment. My parents can eat their own bread.

They can suffer their own deeds. They should have saved better. They should have had a better Roth IRA. They should have done better by themselves. And Jesus, this is one of the reasons why he calls them whitewashed tombs. They look all nice and pretty on the outside, but on the inside it's full of dead man's bones. Their hearts weren't in it. But it's not just Jesus.

The Holy Spirit tells us this again in Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1. Go ahead and turn there with me. Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1. I just want you to see that this is Ephesians 6, verse 1, if you're using a pew Bible, page 1041. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. A few things I want to point out here as the scriptures interpret scriptures, honoring your father and your mother implicitly means obeying. It's not just esteeming them in your mind and in your heart, but it's also doing what they say.

My pastor out in Pennsylvania, Micah, he used to tell his boys, they would say, he would say, did you do what your mom told you to do? And they said, well, I didn't hear her. And he said, your job is to listen when your mother talks. That's your only job in life right now is listen. When your mom talks, you do what she says. When he's gone, you obey your mother.

Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right on your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. But it's not just Ephesians, it's said again in the book of Colossians. Colossians chapter three, verse 20. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. So yes.

Surprise, surprise, the 10 commandments still abide. The foundational word of God describing the moral law still applies. This is not an Old Testament principle, this is a God principle. This is all society principle and there is a blessing that comes with it. What does it say in Exodus chapter 12, verse 20, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Paul, when he's writing Ephesians chapter six, he's really pointed. It's as if we've been sleeping during the whole thing, and he says, hey, wake up. This is the first commandment with a promise. This is the first time. We've known that there were blessings in all of this, but here God specifically says, you want it to go well with you? Hey, Joshua tribe, remember, we're in a Joshua series. I know it's like far away, but we're at the edge of the Jordan River.

When you cross that river, do you want it to go well with you? Do you want the nation to be established? Do you want to have a good inheritance? Do you want this to be a long lasting thing and not just a flash in the pan? Guess what? Honor your mother and your father. so that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. That promise is opened up in Ephesians chapter six and God is saying, hey children, do you wanna have a better life? Listen to your mom and dad. Do you wanna have happiness in your life as long as you're under your parents' roof? Listen to what they say.

Now there are limits to this. Hey kids, if your mom and dad tell you to go and murder your brother, you don't have to do it. You might want to, but you don't have to. Actually, you shouldn't. Your parents cannot tell you to do sin. You can't follow that.

Also, some of you know what this tension is like when Jesus says that there's a limit to honoring your parents once you get married. Right, because once you get married, there's supposed to be a leaving and cleaving that happens. You're supposed to leave your parents' household, join a new household, and the two of you are your own household. And parents will try to exercise all undue influence on your marriage, on your home, and you're to say, I honor you, I respect you, but this is our family.

And we need to care for our children. We need to care for it. Now, that also means honoring and respecting them. When they give you biblical wisdom, you go, I'm going to take note of that right there. Dad told me I need to get a better job. I need to listen, because I know Dad's smart with money, and that's a godly principle. So you can listen with respect, and you can honor your parents while still guarding your own household. There are limits to this obedience, but there are blessings. There are blessings.

Again, there's a whole second half of this sermon with all the applications and nitty gritty. And I pray that you'll come back after Sunday school and lunch for that. As we talk about the ways that we sin against this and the ways in which we uphold this in real practical ways. Unless you want me to give you another hour long sermon, I'm going to save that for this afternoon. But brothers and sisters, the commandment is real. Jesus kept this commandment where we never could.

Closing Prayer

But as we walk in the light of Jesus Christ by his spirit, I pray that you do honor your father and your mother. I pray that you would have a good long life, full with joy, as you do what you know is pleasing to your father who's in heaven. Let's pray. Well, Father, we thank you so much for this day. Lord, we know that we often do not follow you as our Father, and we pray that you would forgive us. Lord, we are sinful people always learning. And God, we pray that you might mold, transform, renew our hearts and our minds, that we might walk in your ways, that we might keep your commandments, not out of slavish obedience, but out of a heartfelt love for Jesus Christ by the power of your spirit. We pray these things in Jesus's name, amen. Well, let's stand together and we'll sing Psalm 78, selection A. Let's stand together and we'll sing Psalm 78, selection A. Mmmmm.