Deuteronomy 22:13-21

hey hey good morning good morning welcome to coffee and devotions this morning we're at Deuteronomy chapter 22 we're going to be looking at verses 13 through let's see 13 through 21 this is a difficult part right on sexual Purity what happens when a husband and wife are distrusting each other especially with what happened before marriage so why don't we get have some coffee we'll pray and we'll get into thisal Passage father we thank you so much for this day we thank you for your word and we pray that your spirit would help us Lord we come to a passage that many have seen and want to hold to a different standard father it's so attacked Even in our own society and father we pray that you would please help us help us Lord to interpret it wisely and to have it applied to our hearts in a way that's faithful to your Holiness in the intent therein in Jesus's name amen all right here we go Deuteronomy chapter 22: 13- 21 If any man takes a wife and goes into her and detests her and charges her with shameful conduct and brings a bad name on her and says I took this woman and when I came to her I found she was not a virgin virgin then the father and mother of the young woman shall take and bring out the evidence of the young woman's virginity to the Elders of the city at the gate and the young woman's father shall say to the elders I gave my daughter to this man as wife and he detests her now he has charged her with shameful conduct saying I have found your daughter was not a virgin and yet these are the evidences of my daughter's virginity and they shall spread the cloth before the Elders of the city then the Elders of that sh City shall take that man and punish him and they shall find him 100 shekels of silver and give him to the father of the young woman because he has brought a bad name on a virgin of Israel and she shall be his wife he cannot divorce her all his days but if the thing is true and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house and the men of her City shall Stone her to death with stones because she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel to play the Harlot in her father's house so you shall put away the evil from among you well hard passage we need to ask ourselves a what is this about B what's the best verse to summarize us and see what are we called to do we jump into this ugly scenario a scenario where people are accusing one another of lying people are saying you deceived me you held back parts of your past and your history from me they ought to have told me people are possibly even telling lies right this is like this is like Hollywood horrible gone bad seeking divorce the day after you get married type ugliness right so I think some people come to this passage and they want to read this passage and look for what is true that there's a a not bulletproof plan in this virgin sheet or this this token of virginity of a broken Heyman and look at that alone and say oh look look look see it's so narrow but I think what's actually going on here is the Lord is preserving both the purity of his people the Integrity specifically of women and the Holiness of marriage and so we see this that a man he marries a woman and he detests her he dislikes her for some reason and we don't know when this first comes about whether this man is telling the truth or not it may be that he thought he could marry this girl use her in a dumper Lord says that's not going to happen and you're not going to use such a sheep skate way of saying ah you know what she wasn't actually a virgin and get out of the marriage after you've used and abused this poor woman so much so so that if her parents are able to bring even that Hyman sheet whatever to show that there she was really a virgin and they've investigated this by the way I think that there's a full investigation that's going to go on here and not just right they they know they know that this is not a foolproof bulletproof type evidence but if they're able especially if they're able to produce that they're able to say buddy you are dead wrong and you have brought shame and this is an honor shame culture in in this part right and so you are dead wrong in this and the man's punished for that what about when we get to that second part verses 20 through 22 20 through 21 and we find out that this is actually true but the punishment for that is death now that seems kind of harsh right but what's going on in the background here and this is a violation of a number of Commandments right it's a violation of the fifth commandment she's Dishonored her father and her mother it's a violation of the ninth commandment she's not born false or she's not born true testimony but she's lied to her parents she's lied to her husband she's lied to the community about who she was she could have told her husband the truth she could have told her parents the truth I made this horrible decision I got too close to this other guy and I shouldn't have the elders they investigate they find out hey yeah she she was not telling the truth about all these things and and worse than that now right it's this violating of the Commandment do not commit adultery right because now she's engaged in that sexual immorality and she's compounded that with lying to both her parents and to her spouse in the community right and so this is this is not just some small issue in the society this is a big issue now something that's interesting to note we don't have any textual record either biblical or extra biblical of this type of judgment ever actually being carried out we just don't there's nothing in the Bible where this type of scenario is brought up because I think the principle stood right the principle behind it that we must preserve the Integrity of marriage and tied with that the sexual Union that's to happen between a husband and a wife alone but also the dignity that women are supposed to have that they there's not gynecologists right there there's no way to prove this but there's going to be an investigation there's possible proof to show that this isn't true and you're not going to treat women this way in Israel so I think this is the opposite of what our society tries to make it out as and I just want to say right as we think about this this passage and we think about what it's preserving and the principles behind it what a ugly scenario it is on both fronts either for the guy who's such an idiot to try to abuse and use this poor woman or what an ugly scenario it is to hide things from your future spouse he you've made a mistake happens I'm not I'm not just rushing away fornication it's not what I'm doing here but sin is real and sometimes there's consequences but it's better to be honest it's better for a girl to say Dad I didn't listen than to hide it and to think that somehow that's going to get them stoned to death no what's stoned to death is the hiding in the deceitfulness the twisting of the truth is that guilt and that shame is going to just continue and for this guy who's tried to use and abuse nobody you know what you're going to do you're going to suck it up and you're going to be a man you're going to treat that girl how she's supposed to be treated and for the sin that you've done now you're going to pay their father her father a fine because you shamed the family you stupid fool can't believe you would do that that's what this is about this is about teaching young people that the decisions they make and how they do things even today will affect what happens the rest of their lives so it preserves it preserves the family it preserves the Dignity of women it tells men to be men and not to be womanizers this is what God is wanting in his Society again the laws are given because it is a sinful Society it is a people made of sinful people who do sinful stupid things their Covenant King is trying to lead them in a better way I think that's what this is about what's the best verse to summarize this well in my Bible I have verse 19 underlined and I have verse the very last part of verse 21 underlined I think that that's the best verse what are we called to do I think we're called to be those who strive to live pure Lives who even when we make stupid decisions even when we may have done things in our past that we may be ashamed of that we're those who could promote the truth we can be honest about our failures with others especially for those who were about to be in a relationship with again I sit here in my office and I do premier marital counseling with people and I do marriage counseling with people and I got to tell you hiding things in your past from your future spouse or from your current spouse it only brings more baggage and shame into the marriage husbands don't be like this man love your wife as Christ loves the church and we're not perfect yet Jesus still loves us are we those types of people that especially in the marriage we uphold the marriage bed we see it as this beautiful picture between a man and a wife that God has joined together and let no man tear aunder husbands you love your wives as Christ loves a church wives you being submissive loving your husband are you cherishing your marriage or are you hiding things from them this is the beautiful picture of what God gives us of how much Jesus loves us and how we're to love him let's pray father this is a tough passage it's not an easy one it shouldn't just be gloss over or ran through sexual ethics are real and what we do with our bodies really does affect our relationships and and our souls and our relationship to you Lord we pray that you would please forgive us of our sin forgive us of our guilt Lord we are people who fail and we mess up even before you so Lord instead of hiding in shame we bring things into light to you knowing that if we confess our sins you are faithful and you are just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all of our transgress pressions so Lord please forgive us of our sins turn us from them Lord we pray that we would turn from them and turn unto life that we would walk before you with Assurance of forgiveness and with a walk now in Holiness we pray in Jesus's name amen may the Lord bless you may you walk before the Lord who loves you and who even gave his son to die for you I'll see you next time bye