Put Off Anger; Put On Grace (Ephesians 4:31, 32)

Welcome to God's Word for You, a ministry of Sharon R.P. Church in Morning Sun, Iowa. Check us out online at www.sharonrpc.org. We pray that this message will be a blessing to you and that the Lord will use it to transform your faith and your life. Well, you meet me at Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4 is where our message will come from today. Ephesians chapter 4 and we'll be reading verses 20 down through verse 32 this morning. Ephesians chapter 4 beginning at verse 20. If you're using the provided pew bibles you'll find that on page 1040. Ephesians chapter 4 beginning at verse 20.

But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard him and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus, that you put off concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind. and that you put on the new man which was created according to God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore, putting away lying, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it might impart grace to the hearers. and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, malice, blasphemy be put away from you with all malice, and be kind toward one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Quite a contrast between those two verses, isn't it? Anger, wrath, malice. These words of anger. In a very real way, when I was 11 years old, the first reality of what anger and the effects of anger hit me, hit my family, hit our church in a difficult spot.

We had an associate pastor whose name was Cheyenne Figueroa. Cheyenne was a godly man. I didn't know him that well. Other than that, he's the one who went through baptism courses with me half the way before I went out and I stopped going. But in 1997, as there was a shift break in the evening, Pastor Figueroa went to the Jack in the Box down the road, similar to something like Hardee's, just a fast food place. And as he went to this Jack in the Box, he got in an argument somehow. None of us know what the content of the argument was. But he got in an argument with the guy behind him, at which point the man got out of his car, walked up to Pastor Cheyenne's truck, and murdered him in cold blood.

And I remember the devastation in our congregation. I remember the funeral. I remember the seats lined with tissue boxes and people weeping uncontrollably because their shepherd was murdered. because someone got hot under the collar, got angry with the other person, and killed someone they loved. There's nothing new under the sun, is there? Genesis chapter 4, and Cain slew Abel, his brother. God warns us in a very real way today. God is telling you today. God is commanding you today. God is telling you what the new man is.

That old man is that man filled with anger, wrath, malice, hatred, blasphemies. And we must get rid of that old man. By the Spirit of Christ, you can put off that old man and you can put on the new man. The new man of verse 32, kindhearted, tender, forgiving one another. So brothers and sisters, your call this morning is to put off that old man with his anger and to put on the new man with grace. Put off the old man with his anger and put on the new man with grace.

Look with me at verse 30, William. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. We must put off all sinful anger. There's a progression here that happens when Paul gives this list of what angry words, angry feelings looks like. It starts internally and it goes externally. It goes from things in the heart to things done and said. Look with me at verse 31. What does it start with that we are to do? Let all bitterness. Let all bitterness.

Do you know people in your life that you just don't like? You know who I'm talking about. There are people, you might have liked them once before, but then they started acting a certain way. Then they got on some type of hobby horse. Then they started doing something that just ground against you the wrong way, and you just didn't want to be around them. You might smile at them on Sunday. You might come and say, oh, it's so nice to see you today. But in your heart, you're saying, it's nice to see you sit in that pew way over there.

That bitterness is what Paul is saying, right? It's not something said outright, but it's something felt deep down in your heart that is just, I don't like you. You leave a bitter, a sour taste in my mouth. When I think of you, I got nothing good to say. And this bitterness is something inside. It's this thought and emotional place.

But then he goes on and he says two words that are connected together, wrath and anger. Let all bitterness, wrath, and anger. Commentators will argue about how we distinguish these two, but it's clear every time in scripture when they're used together like this, it's intensifying one another. They're basically like synonyms.

All this wrath and this anger is something that you might actually see in someone's face. When you see someone and it becomes something that, you know, you are smiling, looking at your buddy, you look over at that person and you go, you've seen that before, haven't you? I'm not happy with you and my face is going to show it.

I was amazed when I first started preaching. Olivia gave me a very helpful piece of advice, but then it turned over into parenting advice. She said, you know, Brian, when you get up there and preach, you just look like you're talking to us like you talk to Nathan. You just scold us all the time. She said, you should smile at us. I thought, well, OK. That's a good tip for how to talk to you all when we come to God's word.

But it also made me realize. I wonder if that's the face that our children only see of me. Anger. Anger. That even when I scold them, do they see that I love them? Anger, wrath, clamor. Now this is an interesting one. This is the fun thing, right? There's all sorts of English words that were like, oh yeah, clamor, we know what that is. But then when I was like, huh, I wonder what this word actually means, I had to go and look it up. Screaming. lifting up your voice to one another. If you are angry to the point that you are screaming at one another, if you are angry to the point that you are yelling at one another, not just a heart like, oh, I don't like you, I don't want to be around you right now, not just my countenance is going to fall, but I'm going to start screaming at you, and I'm going to really let you have it. That's what he's talking about here. That's the old man. That's that old man. That's that cane man. That's that sinful one that God is saying, well, hold on here. I'm going to encourage you.

We live in a day and age where you turn on any news commentator, that's how you get ratings. I mean, seriously, turn on Fox News, turn on NBC News, turn on CNN, and where do you really get fired up when people start yelling at each other? I mean, have you watched a presidential debate or a primary debate recently?

People can't even have civil conversations, even when they're on the same team. They just want to scream at one another. They just want to talk over one another. I mean, everybody laughed at Ben Carson when he was the butt of all the jokes because he wouldn't scream and yell at people.

But he finally asked them, he's like, are you going to ask me a question? I mean, there's a reality here. The screaming and yelling is part of our day and age. People will even do it on Facebook and on Instagram and on Twitter. If they want to scream at you, they'll put it in all caps to let you know they're really mad. We live in an angry day and age.

We live in a day and age where somehow the type of civil discourse has just melted away. But that's that old man. That's that old man. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you. I actually like the King James translation better than New King James here, just because it's got more punch to it.

It's blasphemies. We often think of blasphemy as something we do against God, right? You don't want to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. You don't want to blaspheme God. But the word blaspheme is just the word speaking badly about others. This anger doesn't always look like us telling the other person, but it might mean telling our spouse when we get home how much we don't like that person. It might mean going and we get around our friend group and we talk bad about that person. We let our friend group know how much we don't like that person. We'll blaspheme them behind their back. We'll talk bad about people behind their back. Paul is saying, put all these things off.

You didn't learn Christ that way. Now, if you're a Bible reader, you might say, well, hold on here, Brian. Didn't Jesus get mad? I mean, you remember that incident when he was in the temple? Do you remember that incident? I mean, we don't want to make an idol out of Jesus. We don't want to make Jesus into our own image. What did Jesus do when he walked in the temple and he saw the money changers there? What did he do?

I mean, think about it, his veins were filled with blood as he picked up the table and flipped it. I mean, you have to imagine how heavy this table had to be to carry all these coins and how sturdy it had to be. And Jesus flips it over and then as he makes a whip and he drives them out.

Well, this is where our verse today connects us with our verse a few weeks ago, verse 26. Be angry and do not sin. Why was Jesus angry? Jesus told us why he was angry. God has said, my house shall be a house of prayer, but you have made it into a den of thieves, a house of robbers. He was zealous not for his own quirks, his own desires, his own way he wanted to feel, his own preferences, but he was zealous with anger for his father's glory. There's a difference here. There is righteous anger and there is sinful anger. That's why your point before you, point number one, is to put off sinful anger. Put off that sinful anger. And isn't it just amazing here? That this isn't just, this is where, man, the Bible's really tough.

If it just said, don't hit people, most of us would be okay. If it just said, don't murder your brother, most of us would be like, oh, whew, good, I'm not gonna murder my brother. I may have wanted to when I was little, but I'm not going to. I got that much self-control.

But the New Testament, God himself is interested in the thoughts and intents of your heart. That's why Jesus in Matthew chapter five in his sermon on the mount says, if you have hated your brother in your heart, you've already committed murder. I mean, that's tough, right? That means that we don't even get to escape and say, well, I know that I'm angry, but at least I don't show it.

No, God is saying, hold on, I gave you a new heart. I am renewing your spirit. I am changing you from the inside out. I'm not just concerned about the outward manifestations. I don't just want religious people. God says, I made you in the image of my son. And God's plan for you is to grow you in this grace. God's plan for you is to grow in your love for one another. God's plan for you is to grow in forgiveness.

This is why he wraps up verse 31 in saying, with all malice. Malice is just a catch-all term at the end here. Put off all malice, any desire to cause pain or injury or distress to someone. Put it off. Put it off. Right? That's the old man. That's not who you are. That's not who you are. But this is hard, right?

And we might ask, how do we even do this? Okay, I get it, I get it intellectually. The Holy Spirit is even really pushing it down in my heart, but how do I make my feet move? How do I shut my mouth when I want to yell at my coworker? How do I be quiet when I want to scream at my spouse?

Well, this is where God promises us His Holy Spirit. And we can trust in his providence. 1 Corinthians 10, 13 tells us, no temptation has overcome you, but what is common to man. And when you are tempted, he will provide a way of escape that you might bear up under it. There's an old man came to Christ in his 40s, 50s. He's old and dead now, but real old because he's dead.

But he was a train conductor. Real. blue-collar worker and was known, was known for having a short fuse, was known for blowing up. And my mentor, Ken Smith, when he was telling me about this man, he said, you know, he became a Christian and he knew anger is one of these sins that he had to work on. And so as he went to work, he would keep working on this and keep working on this. And he had to memorize 1 Corinthians 10, 13.

And one day someone had not coupled a couple carts together correctly, and they had messed something up, and he was climbing down the ladder from the conductor's seat to get down. And as he was clinging the rungs, he was upset as he started. He started going and he remembered this verse that he had been memorizing it and so each time he hit a rung he would go a little bit further in the verse, you know, no temptation has overcome you but what is common to man.

And he says at the end of the, by the time he got down to the ground, he put his feet on the rocks, he looked at the guys who had messed up the couples and he went, and he walked away. Instead of really letting them have it, and they were ready for him to let him have it, he took that way out. He took that way of escape. How do we know how to flee from these temptations that boil up from within us?

Brothers and sisters, Psalm 119 tells us that we need to bury his word in our heart. Your word I have put in my heart that I might not sin against you. We put off that old man by putting on godliness. We remember God's word. We remember what he's told us. And then we plead with the Holy Spirit ahead of time.

If there's a sin that you're struggling with right now, now, I gotta be honest with you. I gotta be real honest with you. This has been a really hard sermon to write. It's really easy to preach, because I'm looking at you. But all week, even this morning, I was having to look here. Because this is one of my sins that I have to pray about and pray about and pray about and memorize scripture and memorize scripture. Brothers and sisters, I'm pleading with you. Don't take this one for granted.

So many children have said they walked away from the Christian faith because of the sharp things their parents said to them in anger. Our words hurt. Our tone can be sharp as knives. James 119 tells us, so then my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Easy to say, hard to live. Putting on hearing, putting on patience, and putting on wrath, putting off wrath. Easy said, hard done.

And this is not just for us adults. We see this even in the kids' hearts, in the kids' lives. I was looking up just this morning stories on Google and on Google News and researching things about children and anger. And I stumbled on this whole section of the internet that's nothing but news stories of children who have gotten upset. Now, we're used to kids getting upset and throwing a temper tantrum. And we tell them, no, don't do that, right?

But there are scores and scores of newspaper articles of children who have murdered their parents. Teens who have murdered their parents because they are upset that their parents won't let them date the person they want to. Scores of stories of children who were upset and got their hold of firearms that they shouldn't have been allowed to get a hold of and did rash things out of their anger. Children who have thrown things at their parents and maimed their parents in their anger. Brothers and sisters, when we throw adult temper tantrums, that's what we look like, kids without self-constraint. I hope this is as piercing to you as it is to me. That's a whole lot of putting off. That's a whole lot of putting off. But verse, thank the Lord it doesn't end with verse 31, but God tells us what to put on in its place. Look with me at verse 32.

And to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. If you try to put to death a sin by just cutting it out of your heart, brothers and sisters, the cancer will grow right back up. But when you cut out ungodliness, you need to put on godliness. When you cut out unholiness, you put on holiness. When you take off the old man, it is imperative that you put on the new man. And here, what does God tell us to do to put on? kindness, tenderheartedness, forgiving one another. I'm going to call that grace and I'm going to show you why in a second.

This idea of kindness is exactly what Jesus commands in Luke chapter 6 verse 35 when he tells us to be kind to our enemies. Even those who would try to use you. Are we kind to those? So see, it's not just saying be kind to people you like, but if Jesus talks to us and he points us in the direction of, you know those people who are always trying to take advantage of you? That you rightfully, in the world's eyes, would be angry about?

Yeah, be kind to that person. Be kind to them. Now, in Tuesday night Bible study, we've been going through the Sermon on the Mount, and I can't tell you how counterintuitive, anti-worldly, against everything of the wisdom of this world that the Sermon on the Mount is, but how powerful of an impact it has if we'll actually live it. Be kind to one another. Be kind to one another. Tenderhearted. I love this word, both because it sounds weird in Greek and because it's got a cool meaning. Eusplognoi. Eusplognoi. Good bowled.

In the Greek and Hebrew mind, we think of the heart as kind of like the seed of emotions. But in the Hebrew mind, it was like down in your guts. It was like down in your kidneys, that you just love people. You would feel compassion from deep down within you.

Some older translations would even say the bowels of compassion. tells us from the very deepest places of our affections, of our emotions, we should have good feelings towards others. We should think highly of others. We should want the best for others. Tender-hearted. Now again, right, the Bible is real direct.

It just talked about people you hate. People who take advantage of you. Is it easy to make yourself vulnerable to someone who takes advantage of you? I mean, let me say that again. Maybe I said it the wrong way. Is it easy to be tenderhearted, to be sympathetic, to be kind to someone who you know wants to take advantage of you or who just grinds you the wrong way? No. No, every one of us. I want you to think about that person in your family, in the community, in your life, at your workplace, who you just do not like.

God's telling you to be tender-hearted towards that person. God's commanding you, inviting you today. Pray for that person. Soften your emotions towards that person. This is the counter-intuitiveness of the gospel, but this is what holiness looks like. Be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another. Forgiving one another. The root of this word is the root word for grace. Charizomenoi. Grace. Be gracious toward one another. Be gracious toward one another. Pardon one another.

This is saying, yes, I know you did something wrong against me. I know that you hurt me. I know that you owe me because of what you did, because of how you acted, because of what you said. The slate is clean. I forgive you. I forgive you. You're pardoned. It's gone. I don't want to remember it anymore. Just don't even bring it up anymore, okay? I forgive you. It's gone. Why? And how? It's interesting, the very last clause of our whole chapter here.

Even as God in Christ forgave you, the famous story that Jesus told, a parable about this very thing, this very tension that you're going to have, this very problem you're going to have in your heart, in your life, right? You are not going to want to forgive people who owe you things. Jesus told the parable of the man who owed a massive amount of debt, so much debt, I'm talking about the size of Illinois type debt, that he owed to his master, and his master tells him it's forgiven. And so the man goes out with a clean slate, all debt canceled, gone, fully pardoned.

And what does he do? He walks out and you would think this would be the most gracious, loving, humble person in the world. They would just want to tell everybody about it. They would want to be so happy. But what do you find this person doing? They go right away. They find the person that owes them just a little bit of money. It's interesting what Jesus says. He began to strangle him. demanding that he pay back every cent. Brothers and sisters, forgive one another even as God in Christ Jesus forgave you. Jesus closes, right?

We look at Matthew chapter five, when we look at the Lord's Prayer, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us, or forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. But at the very bottom of the Lord's Prayer, it says something really difficult. For if you will not forgive men when they sin against you, neither will my Father in heaven forgive you when you sin. If we don't understand the grace that God has poured out upon us, if you don't understand that you were the sinner of a debt which you could never repay, that you had violated God's holiness, that you were under His wrath and condemnation, but yet while you were a sinner, while you were under the wages of sin, while you were deserving nothing but the full wrath and displeasure and hatred of God, He was merciful to you.

He looked upon you. And he said, I'm done. It's going to cost me everything. It's going to cost you nothing. I am going to take away your sin, and I will bury it beneath the deepest of the oceans. I am going to take your sin, and I will remove it as far as the east is from the west. I will remember your sins no more.

Brothers and sisters, we put off that old man with anger and malice and hatred and wrath and blasphemy, and we put on the new man forgiving one another, tenderhearted, kind towards one another because Jesus Christ has been kind towards us. because God has displayed his love for us and that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.

This is what the church is called to do now. This is what we are called to be now, a congregation of forgiving people, a congregation of loving people. People are going to grind against you wrong in the church. There are going to be people in the church you just don't like. I promise you at one point, I will become one of them.

The question is, will we be kind? Will it be here that people see reconciliation? Will it be here that we see holiness growing? Will it be here that sinners have a safe place to grow where they put off those old sins and they put on the new man? Is it you in your life now by the power of the Holy Spirit that you can put off the old man with his anger, with his hatred, with his malice, with blasphemy? And will you put on tenderheartedness, kindness, and forgiveness?

Don't take your eyes off Jesus. Not for a moment. Every day confess your sins for when we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. And as we daily confess our sins, we start looking at what we have received. We can remind ourselves as we look into God's word of the great love of Jesus Christ for us.

And then what do you get the blessing of doing after that? You get to show that love towards others. You get to share that love of Jesus Christ with others. And even when you mess up, oh, you're going to mess up, you also get the blessing of going to the other person and asking for forgiveness, of seeking reconciliation. Brothers and sisters, let us put off the old man with his anger and let us put on grace.

Closing Prayer

Let us remember Jesus Christ, let us walk in his light. Let's pray. Oh Father, please make us holy like you are holy. Lord, conform us to the likeness and image of Jesus Christ. Lord, we pray that you would not allow us to just be complacent and settled and comfortable where we are. But Lord, we pray that you would let us hunger and thirst for righteousness, that we would do the good deeds that you have prepared for us to do in advance. Please do not let us take our eyes upon Jesus. Please, Father, care for us. Conform us to your son. Let us love and be gracious as you have loved. And if you have been gracious to us, in Jesus' name, amen.

Thanks for listening to this week's message from God's Word for You, a ministry of Sharon R.P. Church in rural southeast Iowa. We pray that the message would be used by God to transform your faith in your life this week. If you'd like to get more information about us, feel free to go to the website, SharonRPC.org. We'd love to invite you to worship with us. Our worship time is 10 a.m. every Sunday at 25204 160th Avenue, Morning Sun, Iowa, 52640. May God richly bless you this week.