1 Peter 3:8-12

• "Reflecting Christ in Our Lives" (1 Peter 3:8–12)

  • Main Passage: 1 Peter 3:8–12 focuses on how Christians are to embody Christ-like attitudes in relationships, especially in challenging circumstances.

  • Key Themes:

    • Christ-like Qualities:

      • Harmony: Working together toward a common goal, not uniformity but unity in Christ.

      • Compassion: Empathy and sympathy, sharing in others' joys and sorrows.

      • Brotherly Love: Genuine care and affection within the Christian community.

      • Tenderheartedness: A deep, visceral concern for others' well-being.

      • Courtesy: Gentleness, humility, and respect in interactions.

    • Non-Retaliation and Blessing:

      • Christians are called not to repay evil for evil but to bless even their adversaries.

      • Retaliation perpetuates cycles of anger and bitterness, whereas blessing breaks these cycles and reflects Christ’s example.

    • Pursuing Peace:

      • Actively seek reconciliation and restoration, even in the face of hostility.

      • Guard against bitterness, control the tongue, and engage in direct but loving confrontation when needed.

    • Trusting God’s Justice:

      • Leave vengeance to God, trusting Him as the ultimate judge.

      • Reflect the self-control and grace modeled by Christ, who suffered unjustly yet blessed His persecutors.

  • Illustrations:

    • The martyrdom of Felix under Roman persecution, who prayed for and blessed his captors.

    • Biblical examples like Joseph forgiving his brothers and David sparing Saul.

  • Practical Applications:

    • Examine personal motives before addressing others' faults.

    • Practice self-control, humility, and prayer for wisdom.

    • Live as a testimony of Christ’s love and forgiveness, demonstrating a supernatural response to trials.

"Living Out Christ-like Grace in Relationships"

Theme: Cultivating Christ-like attitudes and behaviors to reflect the Gospel.

Scriptural Focus:

• Primary Text: 1 Peter 3:8–12

• Supporting Texts: Romans 12:19, Matthew 18:15–17, Ephesians 4:15, James 1:5, Psalm 34, and Isaiah 53:7.

Study Outline:

1. Introduction: Our Calling as Christians

• Reflect on 1 Peter 3:8: What qualities does Peter emphasize? Why are they vital for believers?

2. Living with Christ-like Attitudes

• Harmony: Discuss examples of unity in diversity within your community.

• Compassion: Share a time when empathy deepened your relationships with others.

• Brotherly Love: How does love within the church testify to the world about Christ?

3. Responding to Evil with Blessing

• Discussion Question: Why is it challenging to bless those who wrong us? How can we follow Christ’s example?

• Study Christ’s response to persecution in 1 Peter 2:21–23.

4. The Power of Words and Actions

• Explore James 3 on the power of the tongue.

• Discuss practical ways to "seek peace and pursue it" (1 Peter 3:11).

5. Trusting God’s Justice

• Read Romans 12:19 and discuss how entrusting justice to God frees us to live peacefully.

Historical & Doctrinal Context

• Historical Insight: Christians in Peter’s time faced severe persecution, yet were called to a radical love and peace.

• Westminster Standards:

  • WCF 21.1: The call to glorify God in all our actions, including relationships.

  • WLC 135: Duties required in the sixth commandment include forgiving and promoting peace.

  • WSC 36: Sanctification enables us to reflect Christ in our lives.

Application Questions:

1. Who in your life do you need to bless rather than retaliate against?

2. Are there strained relationships where God is calling you to seek peace?

3. How can your speech reflect the transformative power of the Gospel this week?

Prayer Focus:

Ask God for the humility and grace to reflect Christ in challenging situations. Pray for wisdom, strength, and the Holy Spirit's guidance to pursue peace and bless others.

Will you please turn in your Bibles with me to 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter chapter 3. This morning we're going to be looking at verses 8 through 12. If you're using the provided New King James Pew Bibles, you'll find that on page 1077. First Peter chapter 3, beginning at verse 8. Brothers and sisters, hear now God's perfect word. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another. Love as brothers. Be tenderhearted. Be courteous. not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling but on the contrary blessing knowing that you were called to this that you may inherit a blessing for he who would love life and see good days let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit let him turn away from evil and do good Let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." Thus ends this portion of the reading of God's word. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God endures forever. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for your word. And God, now we do pray that as we come to their preaching, Lord, we pray that your Holy Spirit would be working even now. Lord, that you would take my stumbling and faltering lips and make them speak the truth of your word. Lord, we pray that your word by the power of your Holy Spirit would be transforming to our lives and giving hope to our souls. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen. And right about 300 AD, there was a man in North Africa. His name was Felix. He was a bishop of the church. And the emperor at that time was named Diocletian. And Diocletian was hell-bent on destroying Christianity. It was one of the worst persecutions that the church ever faced under Diocletian. And he was so hell-bent on destroying as much of Christianity as he could, that he would go into the churches and demand that they give them all the copies of the scriptures that they had, so the emperor and his goons could destroy all of them. And Felix said no. He would not hand over the scriptures. And so he was arrested, insulted, beaten. But it's interesting how Felix responded. Even though they were reviling Him, even though they were beating Him, even though they were throwing all sorts of accusations and saying all sorts of evil things against Him, in His jail cell, He prayed for His captors. And before His execution, as they continued to hurl false accusations at Him, to their face, He blessed them. Felix's actions were based on the text that we have in front of us today. What gave Felix strength in the face of his persecutors, who were literally about to behead him, was because he knew he was following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. And so this morning as we come to 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 8 through 12, Your call this morning is for your own life to reflect Jesus Christ. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you are called to bless, but also to confront as you trust in God. And so first I'd like for us to look at some very Christ-like attitudes and actions that we find in verses 8 and 9 of 1 Peter chapter 3. God's calling us to very particular Christ-like attitudes and actions. Look with me at verse 8 and 9. Finally, by the way, that doesn't mean the book's over, that just means this section of kind of the household code that he's been going through. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tender-hearted, be courteous. Some of your translations might say, be humble. Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing. Knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. Notice the five essential qualities that Christians are supposed to have. Did you see those in verse 8? Five essential qualities or attributes, even in their own hearts, that people of Christ are supposed to have. The first word there is of harmony. are of like mind. This is the word where we get our, I like our kids doing homeschool because I get to hear about different things that they're struggling with. And one of the words that they learned recently was homophones, right? But this is literally the word we get it from. The word in the Greek is homophones. It's like sounding. It means that maybe you've been in a chorus before, or maybe you've heard when people are singing a cappella, or maybe even in the congregation, everybody else is singing kind of the melody, and then all of a sudden you hear over here, somebody starts singing the bass, or the tenor, or the alto, and it sounds different, and yet they perfectly merge together, and they work with one another to create a perfect sound. That's the point of this harmony or like-mindedness. It's not that every one of us is being beaten into conformity. You must think exactly like I think in every single way. No, it means that we're working together towards the same goal. Christianity isn't some type of cult where you have to chuck out your own reasoning and you can't think differently than one another. But it means that we're aiming towards the same goal, that our voices harmonize towards one another, that we seek unity together in Christ. So quality number one is we must be of like mind. We must have harmony. And secondly is compassion. The word there is literally sympathy. That we sympathize with one another. We enter into each other's joys and sorrows. Because Jesus entered into our joys and sorrows, we have compassion for one another. There's no room in the Christian life to cut off your heart towards another believer in Christ and say, you're just outside of my ability to be able to sympathize or have compassion with. Third equality that's essential in the Christian life is brotherly love. Again, we have a famous city in our country, Philadelphia. That's where the city of brotherly love, philo, love, adelphos, brother, brotherly love. Do you actually love people in the church? And many commentators will point out this is kind of the heart and the central one, right? At the very middle of these five is this one. You have qualities one and two, and then number three, brotherly love, and then four and five. But quality number three is really the summation of all of this, that you actually love one another. By this they will know that you love me if you love one another. Do you have brotherly love? You can't have brotherly love if you don't have sympathy and if you don't desire harmony with each other. Neither in the next two can you have brotherly love. You can't have brotherly love if you don't have a tender heartedness and a courtesy or humility towards others. This tender heartedness, again, is my favorite Greek word, splognon. It's actually eusplogneal. It's this idea that it's not just sympathy. There's even talk in certain corners and circles of the Christian world right now that, well, you can't really have empathy, but we can't have sympathy. But I'd like to contend with that here, that I think this is talking about empathy, not just sympathy. It's not just saying, oh, I feel bad for you out there. It's, I feel so bad for you that it pains me in my kidneys. That when I see you suffering, I suffer. That when I see you being slandered, it hurts me. When I see something happen in your family, it makes me weep and want to go to the throne of grace and do something about it. It's an actual, deeply caring for, affecting your guts type feeling. That's the brotherly love being described here. But it's also courtesy. There is a gentleness and respect. It's looking at one another and saying, you know what, we don't have to agree on everything. And I could still love you. I could still be gentle with you. I can still humble myself and serve you, even though there might be things that are grating in between us, even though we may have disagreements. It's the opposite of defensiveness and pride. And so when conflict comes, and conflict's going to come, remember this is all, the finally part means it's summarizing everything above that. Whether you're responding to the government and you have tyrants who are the king and the governors who are sent and they're persecuting you, or whether you have a slave owner who's cruel and crooked towards you, or whether you're a Christian wife and you have a husband who doesn't seem to care about you and who degrades even your faith, or if you're a husband and it's difficult for you to live at peace with your wife and to honor her. In all these things, how do you respond to those types of conflict? Well, you don't retaliate. Notice verse 9. Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling. There's a saying that happens in most conflicts. One person describes it as an anger cycle. You hurt me, so I'm going to hurt you. And then I hurt you, so you're going to dig in your heels, and you're going to try to hurt me. And the anger escalates, and it just continues, and continues, and continues. This happens in marriages, it happens in the workplace, it happens in the church, it happens with our children. Anger feeds anger, which feeds anger, which feeds anger, until someone actually does something different. And what's the difference that verse 9 tells us? Not evil for evil, reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing. You break out of that anger cycle, that bitterness cycle, by blessing. Somebody's got to break the cycle. My question is, is it going to be you? Is it going to be you? To bless means to speak and to seek God's good for that other person. Even though they might be the type of person that really gets on your nerves, they may have even mistreated you. There's a challenge here, right? There's a principle here that's picked up that has been called the principle of non-retaliation. Non-retaliation, but that doesn't mean just because we don't retaliate doesn't mean that there isn't a point for confrontation. Non-retaliation is what this is commanding here. It's restraining our personal vengeance, but that restraining of our personal vengeance is meant to do something. It frees us to pursue Christ-like confrontation with forgiveness and patience. We're kind of allergic. We live in a weird society right now. Right? People are so passive. People are so, they don't want to offend each other. They walk around on eggshells because they're constantly worried about, oh no, I'm going to offend someone. But yet at any point we know that that pent-up kind of timid of, oh, oh, I don't know if I'm going to offend someone and I don't want to get into a confrontation. Eventually what happens with that? It blows up in people's faces and then they really want to fight with each other. And so we see this kind of false non-confrontation that just escalates to extreme confrontation instead of a healthy type of confrontation that God gives us. Because confrontation can be a blessing when it's for loving someone else to bless them. Jesus confronted sin while also offering forgiveness. We saw this with a woman who comes to him She's a sinner, right? She was caught red-handed in the sin of adultery. John chapter 8. Now she was brought before Jesus, and the man's not there, it's just her. And this is a totally sinful type scenario. They're trying to trap Jesus. But what I want to point you towards is a very end. Right, when Jesus says, let him who has no sin cast the first stone, one by one from the oldest to the youngest, they leave their stones, they go walk away. But notice Jesus doesn't say, okay, well, I'm not gonna confront you either. What is his words to her of grace? Where are your accusers? Neither do I accuse you. Go and sin no more. He doesn't just whitewash away what's been going on. He deals with her sin. He offers her forgiveness. He knows that he's going to suffer for her upon that cross. But in that confrontation, he is blessing her, saying, there's a better way for you to live your life, a better way for you to walk with the Lord. And so non-retaliation breaks the cycle of vengeance. I just want to say maybe some of you in here today, you might be caught in this cycle. I know I get caught in it at times. You do not have to be a slave to your bitterness. There are times, bitterness never lets you escape. It is a prison warden who only beats you and makes you afraid and makes you more angry at the other person. You do not, Christian, have to be bitter. But you can forgive. And you can choose to do something different. Non-retaliation breaks the cycle of vengeance. And confrontation, biblical confrontation, motivated by love, seeks peace and restoration. And notice that there's speech and actions that reflect this desire. Look with me at verses 10 and 11. For he who would love life and seek good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. Your tongue is a powerful thing. It's natural. I don't want to hide it from you that somehow this is easy to do. It is absolutely natural and normal for you. Somebody slanders you. Somebody reviles you. Somebody says some type of malicious thing against you. What's your natural desire, the normal thing we want to do? We want to defend and retaliate. We want to go on attack. James talks about this. in James chapter 3 and he says that our tongue is like an unwieldy evil, right? It's crazy powerful. On the ship that I served on, the USS Enterprise, we had the thing was 1,120 or 32 feet long, right? It was this huge, long, massive ship the size of the Empire State Building on its side floating through the ocean. And there was just these four little rudders at the back. And just one or two degrees on those rudders could change the entire direction of the ship. Millions of pounds of steel directed by 40 tons in the back. Let's see the tongue. The tongue turns the whole body. It turns the whole conversation. It's hard to wield. It's like a spark that can start a forest fire. A blaze and consuming homes and people and property and lives. It seems untamable. And yet, Christians, we are called, if we love life, if we long to see good days, we need to be those, look with me again at verse 10, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. See, especially the people that Peter is writing to in the first century, there are people who are slandering them. They're saying evil and malicious things against them. They're reviling them for their faith in Jesus Christ. And Peter, through the Holy Spirit here, is specifically telling them that they are to put away evil speech from their mouth. And instead, they're to do good. They're to seek peace and pursue it. Did you notice that, verse 11? Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. This isn't passive. You don't pursue by walking. You don't pursue by just sitting on the couch flipping through the TV. You don't pursue peace by getting on your phone and text messaging. You pursue peace by doing everything that you can to go and actually do peace. And it's going to take work. It's hard. It involves addressing and entering into conflict directly. Jesus taught us this way. In Isaiah chapter 53 verse 7, when he was reviled, but yet he did not open his mouth, he was like a lamb led to the slaughter. Jesus taught us this way to walk. And yet, we're also told by that same God that confronting sin sometimes is necessary to bring about reconciliation and healing, but it must be done with love and humility, courteousness, and a tender heart. Ephesians chapter 4, 15 says, Speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into him who is the head, Christ. This is what Joseph did with his brothers. If you remember back with me to Genesis chapter 40, right, you have Joseph. Man, if anybody had a reason to be bitter against anybody, it would be Joseph. Joseph's just a boy. He's like, maybe he's a teenager or preteen, he's something like that. And he goes, God gives him visions, right? Yeah, some of us read it, we're like, man, he seems like a little snotty kid. Maybe, maybe not. But his brothers hate him. Hate him so much that they have a plan to kill him. And then they say, well, maybe we shouldn't kill him. Instead, let's line our pockets. So they sell David into slavery. David lives for decades and decades in slavery. He serves under Potiphar and under Potiphar he's mistreated and abused. He's thrown into prison. He's mistreated and abused, forgotten and basically left for dead. He's finally risen up by God to an authority position, made second in command in Egypt, only to Pharaoh. And here come his brothers. They don't even recognize him, right? He's dressed like an Egyptian. He's not speaking their native tongue. He's speaking Egyptian to them. They don't even know who he is. If anybody had a reason to just say, you know what you all did to me? You remember the evil you did to me? Remember the malice you showed me? Off with your heads. How about you go rot in prison the rest of your lives? But no, how did Joseph respond? Genesis 45, 5. But now do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here. For God sent me before you to preserve life. He blessed them. He convinced Pharaoh to give them the land of Goshen, provided homes for them, protected them, and loved them, even though they had sold him into slavery. Because notice verse 12. Notice the Lord's perspective here. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. This is what theologians will call anthropomorphic language. That's a big word for you, right? That's a $5 theological word. Anthropomorphic, right? God doesn't actually have ears, or eyes, or a face. God is a spirit and hath not a body like man, but yet he's described here in form, so we're able to kind of put our hands on it. For the eyes of the Lord. What does the Lord look at favorably? He looks at those who are righteous. What about the ears of the Lord? What are his ears open to? What does he favorably listen to? His ears are open to the righteous as prayers, but he opposes the wicked. His face, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. God sees you in your pain. God hears you when you're praying because others are ridiculing you, reviling you, mocking you, slandering you, saying all sorts of evil things against you. The Lord hears you when you cry out to Him. Go pick up Psalm 34 or Psalm 55. David just cries out to God. I haven't done anything wrong that they're saying against me. The context of this entire Psalm that Peter is quoting here in Psalm 34 is about this. David didn't do anything against King Saul. And yet Saul hated David so much that when he was playing a harp, Saul picked up a spear and threw it at him. Now I'm not sure if any of you have ever had that experience before. And I'm not sure if any of you have ever been just in a room at a dinner party and all of a sudden somebody starts trying to attack you with a deadly weapon out of nowhere. But that's the scene. That's why David has to flee. Because Saul is hell-bent on trying to destroy David's life. And it's in the midst of that, that's why he has to go and feign madness before the Philistine king. He's crying out to God, I didn't do any of this, Lord. All my enemies are against me. But when he writes this psalm, he says, you know what? I know that the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. David was living out what we would later read in Romans chapter 12, verse 11. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay. We don't have to be all about getting our due and our justice right now our way. We can entrust it to the Lord. Another example of this is David again. Saul is still chasing David around the desert all over the place. David goes into a cave. He's hiding from Saul. Saul is again still hell-bent. He's so hell-bent on killing David that he's literally taking an army and rushing all around the desert on a search and destroy mission. David hides in a cave, Saul goes into the cave to go to the bathroom, and his guys, David's guys, this must have been a big cave, they must have been farther back, you know, they're goading him on, like, go kill him, go kill him. You can do it, David, go take his life, go kill him. And he doesn't do it. He cuts off the edge of his robe. And he feels so bad, even about cutting off the edge of his robe, that when Saul leaves, He's far enough away that David knows that he's safe. He says, look, I had the opportunity to kill you and I didn't, but how dare I lift up my hand against the Lord's anointed? David knew that God would take care of Saul himself, but yet he would still confront him. Why are you chasing a dead dog out in the desert? Do you see, he realized it wasn't about him retaliating, but he also needed to speak the truth to Saul. I didn't do anything. What are you doing, man? You're fighting against God. You might say, well, hold on, it seems like David got off scot-free then. No, David had to eat this own medicine himself when he committed adultery with Bathsheba. It's not like his sin was just glossed over, but Nathan walked in with godly confrontation, lovingly telling David, you are that sinful man who has stolen someone special from someone else. We ought to be free. knowing that God's justice is true. We can live our lives without having to demand retribution because we know that God is the final judge. As of this point, I know that there's got to be a ton of you, right? With like, well, what about this situation? What about that? But hold on, what about this? I just want to quickly address, and I'm sure there's way more objections than this. I might not even get to all eight of these, and that's fine, because I want to actually get us out of here somewhat on time. The first objection you might give is, oh, well, hold on. Blessing someone who wrongs me feels like I'm just letting them get away with it. Yeah, it might feel like that. But in reality, blessing doesn't mean excusing or enabling sin. Instead, it means seeking that person's ultimate good, and that's often through prayer, speaking truth to them, and modeling God's character in front of them, walking in his footsteps. Again, Romans 12, 19 tells us, beloved, do not avenge yourself, but rather give place to wrath. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. No, it's us saying, I don't need to extract all the justice. God will do that. Objection number two that you might have is, but doesn't confrontation contradict this whole idea of seeking peace and pursuing it? Now, confrontation and peace are not opposites, right? Confrontation and peace are not opposites. Pursuing peace sometimes requires confrontation. This is why Jesus, out of his own mouth, when he's talking about within the church and you find people who are sinning, right? If your brother sins against you, go and confront him one-on-one. And if he doesn't listen, go with another two or three witnesses and try to confront him again. Jesus would not give us both the command to seek peace and pursue it, and the command to enter into confrontation if they were mutually or exclusively apart from each other. It doesn't mean avoiding necessary confrontation. Actually, avoiding necessary confrontation might perpetuate more harm and lead to even greater divisions. The key is the motivation and the manner of the confrontation. When we confront, we don't take off the first five essential qualities, right? When we confront people, we don't want to be dissonant. We want to be harmonious. We don't want to shut off our heart towards that person we're confronting, but we want to be tender hearted towards them. We don't want to treat them as enemies, but we want to treat them as brothers and sisters in Christ. We don't want to puff ourselves up with pride thinking that somehow we're right and we've got the absolute perfect answer in defense. No, we humble ourselves and we treat them with courtesy. Ephesians 4.15 tells us this. Maybe you might respond to me again about this whole idea of non-retaliation. You might say, isn't it weak to avoid retaliating or standing up for myself? That just sounds effeminate. That just sounds like rolling over and just being weak. I'm going to say that this is one of the most difficult things you could possibly do. I think the weak thing to do is just give in to your natural impulses and just be as angry as you want to be and bitter as you want to be and just go after it, right? I think that's the weak thing. The difficult, strong, spirit-filled thing that we are called to do is have self-control, gentleness, kindness, patience, peace. That's true strength. See, we get this picture of strength and confrontation in our society and our media today, that it's those who are going to shout the loudest and fight the hardest and be the most aggressive. Those are the strongest ones. No, that's not the way that we find it here. And Jesus himself showed us that example. Jesus. was by and far the most powerful human who ever lived. He could call down a legion of angels. And yet when he was being reviled, slandered against, mocked and beaten, he prayed for his tormentors. He asked God to forgive them, and I think God actually did. But you might respond again, what if seeking peace doesn't just make me seem like I'm just a doormat, right? People are just going to walk all over me. Doesn't this just cause more compromise? No. No, it doesn't. Seeking peace doesn't mean allowing others to take advantage of you, nor does it mean that you're to compromise on your biblical convictions. It means choosing to not retaliate while addressing wrongs in a way that honors God. It doesn't make you a doormat. I've been putting before you a picture of Jesus who was willing to pray for those who were reviling him and mocking him, slandering him, saying evil things and doing evil things against him. But Jesus also knew how to confront in a biblical way too. I mean, if we went to Matthew chapter 21 and we saw him in the temple, He wasn't going to be a doormat when he put his hands on the table and his veins started pulsing in his arms and he lifted up the table full of money, flipped it over. As he braided a whip and chased out the money changers, Jesus knew what it was like to confront when it was the time to confront. Real peace requires a balance of courage and grace. We find it in Jesus. And you might say, how can I bless someone who's constantly or consistently abusive or harmful? What God tells us here in verse 9, but on the contrary, blessing is not... I'm going to read this because I want to be very careful. Blessing does not mean staying in harm's way or enduring abuse. This is not telling you to just endure abuse. Sometimes the most loving and righteous response is actually creating distance while praying for the person's repentance and seeking godly counsel. Proverbs 22.3 says, A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished. I'm not telling you to just, if you're in an abusive relationship, to just endure it, pray for that person and have peace. That's not what this is saying. The fool sees that they're being beat and won't get out of it. I'm telling you to be wise. Get out of there. Create some space. Pray for them and plead and get other people to help you. Protecting yourself is not unbiblical. It's wise stewardship of the life God has given you. But what if I feel like forgiving and blessing is just impossible? Been there. Speaking personally. There are people I would love to be reconciled with and it doesn't seem like they want to be reconciled with. There are people you may want to have peace with and they just don't want it. It takes two to tango. And sometimes you want to dance and they don't want to. So what do you do? Will you show the fruits of the spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control? Pray for them. Ask God to soften their hearts. Ask God to soften your heart. Ask Him we believe in a God who is sovereign. Ask Him to provide the situations, the scenarios of people who will actually get in the place where God will be able to work and create reconciliation. Don't dig in your heels just assuming that reconciliation will never happen. Seventhly, you might ask, won't blessing and this idea of non-retaliation make me look foolish or weak in the eyes of others? I'm telling you, yeah, people may think of you that way. Yeah, they might. Why do we care? Why do you care what other people think of you? Whose favor are you trying to gain? Whose eyes do you want to be upon you? Whose ears do you want to be open to you? Whose face are you desiring to smile upon you? Is it the world and their standards and what they want? Or is it God? Who are you seeking to please? Following Christ often runs counter to our cultural values, but that doesn't mean it's wrong. Ultimately, we live for God's approval and not man's. Paul wrote about this in Galatians 1.10. For do I now persuade men or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still please men, I wouldn't be a bondservant of Christ. Are you a slave of Christ? Are you a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ? Or are you still trapped in middle school, trying to get other people to be happy with you? Our goal is to reflect Christ, not to gain worldly respect. Last objection I'll mention here. Doesn't justice demand that I respond when I'm wrong? Doesn't justice demand I respond when I'm wronged? If justice is on your terms, sure. And if justice is in your time, sure. But it's not. God's the one who's just, and God's the one who judges. So we trust God to judge rightly. What do we do in the meantime? What has He shown you, oh man? What is good? To do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly before your God. Christ is our model and the empowerment of everything that we've been talking about this morning. Jesus is a perfect example of non-retaliation. Jesus absorbed the insults, suffering, and the evil and reviling without retaliating. The very phrases here in verse 9 were used of Jesus in chapter 2, verse 23 and following. Verse 21 and following. Verse 9, Do not return evil for evil, or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing. Notice, turn over a page, I think it's on maybe the previous page, just above it. Chapter 2, verse 21. And for to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you should follow in his footsteps, who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in his mouth, who when he was reviled did not revile in return. And when he suffered, he did not threaten, but committed himself to him who judges righteously. We do this because Jesus taught us how. He's left footsteps, footprints that we follow. Jesus is the one who didn't have to retaliate, and yet he knew how to confront. Jesus knew what it was like to suffer even for our sins, and yet he was able to confront the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. And Jesus, by His Spirit, empowers us to live this way. As we abide in Jesus Christ, we bear much good fruit. And part of this good fruit is the self-restraint and showing the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. So I want to give you some real practical steps for living out this balance. It's going to be fast, hopefully. And we'll finish with this. When do you refrain from retaliation? Proverbs 19.11 says, the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. Avoid escalating conflict with reactive words or actions. Avoid it. But when do you confront? When is it that you don't overlook or look past a transgression? When the sin harms others or dishonors God. Matthew 18, 15, Jesus said this, Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. If we avoid confrontation altogether, it's just going to create more and more of a chasm between us. You know what this is like, right? When there's a disagreement or a difference between you and another person, it starts off just a little, maybe there's just like a, it's like jumping over the ditch, right? You could do that. Most of you can run from one side of the road to the other. You might hurt when you land, but you can get on the other side of the ditch. But the more you let that anger fester, the more you let that bitterness set in, the more you let those tensions just build and build, eventually it becomes the Grand Canyon, and there's no way you're going to ever get over it. Don't let that bitterness just continue to separate you more and more. So how do you confront righteously? Well, God gives us a few different helpful things with this. First is we need to check our own motives. What are you seeking after? Are you desiring restoration or revenge? What do you want? When you're wanting to confront this person, are you wanting revenge or are you wanting to actually have a restored relationship? Galatians 6.1 says, Brothers, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. But also notice it goes on, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted. It's really easy when we're gonna enter into confrontation, we wanna tell somebody else about their sin. And there's a lot of pride that can well up right there. It's really easy for us to just become a sitting duck for the devil to take us down. Check your own motives. Secondly, check your own life. It's really easy, right, to get worked up about, oh, this person, they did this, and it's so wrong, and they said these evil things, and they did these wrong things, and then I gotta get back at them, and then we don't actually check, and we realize we got a big old log sticking out of our own eye, and we're trying to take out a speck of sawdust out of the other person's. Be really slow. Be really slow. Check your own life first. Or else what does Jesus say if you're that type of person? Hypocrite. First, remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Third, how do you confront righteously? Speak the truth in love. Speak the truth in love, Ephesians 4, 15. But speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into him who is the head, Christ. When we do address sin, we don't do it in retaliation, but we do it with love and grace. Fourthly, pray for wisdom. Seek God's guidance for timing, words, and outcomes. There are situations, even relationships, like in my own life, I don't know how I'm ever going to touch it. I don't know how there's ever going to be restoration. I don't know how there's ever going to be reconciliation. I just don't know. Maybe you've got those situations in your life. What do you do about it? James chapter 1 verse 5. If any of you lacks wisdom, let a massive God who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Pray to your sovereign God that somehow he'll make a way straight for you. Brothers and sisters, reflect Christ in your relationships. What Peter gives us here, the Holy Spirit gives us through Peter in 1 Peter 3, 8 through 12 is difficult. I'm not going to whitewash it. I'm not going to minimize it. I'm not going to make it seem like it's just, oh, this is so easy to do. It is hard. But hard things are not bad things. Bless others. Seek peace and trust in God. I'm going to leave you with two questions, and then I'm going to pray for you. Who in your life do you need to bless instead of retaliate against. Second question. Is there a situation where God is calling you to lovingly confront sin? And are you trusting God's justice? Or are you holding on to vengeance? Brothers and sisters, follow Jesus's footsteps. Be tenderhearted, compassionate, show brotherly love, follow in the footsteps of Christ. That's how we'll show the world what Christians really live like and who we really follow. Let's pray. Father, you know the strained relationships in our lives with the non-believers around us at work and in the community. Lord, you know the strained relationships in our families, parents, siblings, children, grandchildren. Lord, you know the strained relationships in this congregation, in this room. Lord, we pray that you would teach us to walk as Jesus. We pray that you would give us wisdom. It's easy to hear these things. Lord, you know how hard it is to live them. And so we plead with you for your Holy Spirit to empower us, embolden us, teach us how to live like Christ and to love like him. Lord, let us be good sojourners and pilgrims, citizens of your kingdom. In Jesus's name, amen.